Recently this story was brought out of the vault by my dear husband when he met with a group of friends at Starbucks. He couldn't remember all the details, and many of you have been asking, so I thought I should tell you all the dreadful details of that day....
I had just been hired for the job of my dreams. A newelywed and a recent college graduate, I had landed the job I had always wanted, working for the Red Cross doing social work. It was my 1st professional business trip and I was in Oklahoma City for special 2 day training. I was to take 2 different classes with about 30 or so Red Cross workers from around the country. The room where we were meeting was large and the tables were set up forming a large "U" shape. I sat at the bottom of the "U" where I was visible to everyone in the class (not on purpose). The 1st day was exhausting and when I returned to my hotel room that evening, all I wanted was to shower and get to bed. That night I took my clothes off all in one swoop, you know...underware, and pants all at the same time....showered and went to bed. The next morning came early. I got dressed, wearing the same pants as the day before, did my hair and make up and headed out the door. The class that morning had some new students, so we were all instructed to take turns telling our name, where we were from, etc. If you know me at all, you know that I HATE speaking in public and I consider introducing myself to a room full of strangers, speaking in public. So I was a little nervous. Again, if you know me, you know that I can't sit still, especially when I am nervous, so my legs jiggle around anytime I am sitting. When it was my turn to talk, I did the introduction just fine and the day progressed as usual. After a while we were instructed to group up with 4-5 classmates in our area for a small discussion. As we were shifting our chairs around, I noticed something peculiar in the middle of the "U". After studying it for a while, I realized that it was a pair of panties! "Yuck," I thought. "That is disgusting! Who would just leave their underwear in the middle of a public classroom?"
"Hmmm, that is weird, I have a pair of panties just like that." I thought. And then it hit me, "Oh my Gosh, those ARE mine! They must have stuck in the leg of my pants when I swooped them off the night before. But how did they get in the middle of the room? Oh my Gosh! They must have flown out when I was shaking my leg during my nervous introduction! That means everyone probably saw it!" It was a horrible thought. And how could they not have noticed? They were baby blue and since I was a newelywed and had not yet discovered the joys of the "granny panty", they were quite possibly frilly. (Though I have blocked some of the details out of my mind for mental health reasons).
Now, a new dilema, what to do???? I was pretty sure that people had seen the tragedy unfold so what should I do now. I figured I should remove the panties, I mean the longer they sat there the more everyone would be reminded on the "incident" (besides they were mine and I am oppossed to littering). Now the part that you would think had happened at age 12 instead of at age ___???? (have to keep that part secret...you know...mental health reasons...). It was so cold in the classroom and I still had my big coat on .... you know the one (thanks goodness) with the huge pockets. I scooted my chair into the vicinity and "pretended" to reach down and pick up my text book. Quickly I scooped up the panties and shoved them into my pocket and pretended like nothing happened. No one ever said anything. "And I will NEVER tell a soul about this!" I thought! Later that night I returned home, opened the door and said, "Josh, you will NEVER believe what happened"....
